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Never assume that the meaning of a sentence is obvious.Check to see if you need to define your terms (”socialism," "conventional," "commercialism," "society"), and then decide on the most appropriate place to do so.Compare the original thesis (not specific and clear enough) with the revised version (much more specific and clear): The thesis statement should do more than merely announce the topic; it must reveal what position you will take in relation to that topic, how you plan to analyze/evaluate the subject or the issue.
By being as clear as possible in your thesis statement, you will make sure that your reader understands exactly what you mean.
Tip: In order to be as clear as possible in your writing: These words tell the reader next to nothing if you do not carefully explain what you mean by them.
Do not assume, for example, that you have the same understanding of what “society” means as your reader.
To avoid misunderstandings, be as specific as possible.
Tip: In order to write a successful thesis statement: Your thesis statement should be as clear and specific as possible.
Normally you will continue to refine your thesis as you revise your argument(s), so your thesis will evolve and gain definition as you obtain a better sense of where your argument is taking you.
Being specific in your paper will be much more successful than writing about general things that do not say much.
Don't settle for three pages of just skimming the surface.
They work well to get a rough draft started, but will easily bore a reader.
Keep revising until the thesis reflects your real ideas.