Both versions are well executed but written in different styles and for essays with different word limits.
It may sound like a chore, and it will certainly take a substantial amount of work.
Be honest and genuine, and your unique qualities will shine through.
Admissions officers have to read an unbelievable number of college essays, most of which are forgettable.
Many students try to sound smart rather than sounding like themselves.
Others write about a subject that they don't care about, but that they think will impress admissions officers.However, selective colleges receive applications from many worthy students with similar scores and grades—too many to admit.So they use your essay, along with your letters of recommendation and extracurricular activities , to find out what sets you apart from the other talented candidates. You have a unique background, interests and personality.Your reader needs to know what you mean when you say certain things.This is usually only necessary when there are terms that have numerous definitions: eg if you use "consumerism" are you discussing this as an ideology, economic policy or type of behaviour?Your introduction may also provide an outline of the key argument(s) presented in the essay and how you are planning to answer the question.An introduction usually makes up 5–10% of your whole essay, although there is no absolute rule.Discuss your main argument at the introduction component and what you will discuss about in your college application essay.Make a clear and concise personal statement at the end of your introduction component.A number of high-profile cases have highlighted that ethnic minorities have not received treatment equivalent to their white counterparts.The focus of this concern has been whether racism operates at the individual level or whether it is embedded in the policies and practices of the police (Easton and Piper, 2005).